witty quotes very short funny quotes about life
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Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure you’re actually funny. You definitely don’t want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there!
A person with a great sense of humor is also more likable. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered.
Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. You can write them down and use them whenever you’re attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. Enjoy!
1. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them.
2. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
3. If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
4. If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.
5. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
6. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.
7. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.
8. Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
9. Papercut: A tree’s final moment of revenge.
10. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.
11. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
12. Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.
13. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
14. When nothing is going right, go left.
15. If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need.
16. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.
17. I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
18. Don’t make me laugh, I’m trying to be mad at you.
19. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
20. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.
21. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
22. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.
23. Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.
24. At night, I can’t fall asleep. In the morning, I can’t get up.
25. Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.
26. If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
26. They say ‘don’t try this at home’ so I’m coming over to your house to try it.
30. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
31. IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.
32. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
33. Why was six scared of seven? Because seven “ate” nine.
34. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon.
35. My windows aren’t dirty, my dog is painting.
36. No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store.
37. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.
38. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. – Socrates
Famous funny guy Charlie Chaplin once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted," and we couldn't agree more. Whether you're having a bad day or know someone who could use a little cheering up, laughter really is the best medicine — plus, there are so many ways to tickle your funny bone. Telling corny jokes or watching feel-good comedies is a sure-fire way to add levity to your day, but if you need a quick fix, then we've got tons offunny quotesthat are guaranteed to ease the tension and create a little pocket of joy amid life's stresses.
We’ve got hilarious quotes about love, marriage, aging, parenting, friendship, and many more topics that are oh-so relatable and undeniably clever. Grab your favorites for greeting cards, social media captions, or even just to print and hang above your desk to serve as a little reminder that life's not that serious — and we’re all much better off laughing so we don't cry! With quotes from famous comedians like Betty White, Joan Rivers, Lucille Ball, and Phyllis Diller, here are the best laugh-out-loud quotes to enjoy anytime you need a laugh. Looking for more inspiration? Be sure to check out these funny graduation quotes and inspirational quotes about life as well.
26. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." —Oprah Winfrey
30. "When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'"―Groucho Marx
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