short funny quotes about me
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2.) “Some people are such treasures you just want to bury them.”
3.) “My alone time is for everyone’s safety.”
4.) “If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.”
5.) “Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.”
6.) “May be you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.”
7.) “My wallet is like an onion opening it makes me cry.”
8.) “You make me wish I had more middle fingers.”
9.) “Sometimes even the devil on my shoulder asks “what the fuck are you doing.”
10.) “You can’t be sad when you’re holding a cupcake.”Hilarious quotes to make you laugh11.) “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
12.) “Well, aren’t you a little ray of pitch black.”
13.) “If life gives you lemon, add vodka.”
14.) “Dear autocorrect, I’m getting a bit tired of your shit.”
15.) “Be the reason someone smiles today.”
16.) “Women are made to be loved, not understood.”
17.) “Finding friend with the same mental disorder! priceless.”
18.) “Why was the cook arrested? He was beating an egg.”
19.) “If you fall, I’ll be there.” – The floor.
20.) “I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.”Short funny quotes that pack a punch of laughter21.) “I had an extremely busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.”
22.) “Do you ever look at someone and think, dick head.”
23.) “Alexa, clean up my act.”
24.) “Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.”
25.) “Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.”
26.) “If idiot could fly this place would be an airport.”
27.) “What did the daughter corn ask the mother corn? Where’s popcorn?
28.) “People who are using their phones without back cover don’t care about anyone.”
29.) “Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.”
30.) “Life is nota fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.”Most hilarious short quotes31.) “When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.”
32.) “One day I’m gonna make onions cry.”
33.) “They say good things take time. That’s why I’m always late.”
34.) “I don’t have grey hair I have wisdom highlights.”
35.) “The fridge is a perfect example of what matters is on the inside.”
36.) “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
37.) “I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.”
38.) “I ate a donut without sprinkles diets are hard.”
39.) “I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.”
40.) “I feel like I’m already tired tomorrow.”Funny quotes from the world’s funniest people41.) “If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.”
42.) “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has perfect taste.”
43.) “If your phone doesn’t ring, It’s me.”
44.) “I finally quit drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.”
45.) “Roses are red, I’m going to bed.”
46.) “My bed is a place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”
47.) “Does anyone know how long toilet paper will last if you freeze it?
48.) “I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”
49.) “The smarter you get, the less you speak.”
50.) “People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite.”Shorts funny quotes to make you laugh51.) “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”
52.) “There are some idiots who always answer “No” to every question, now tell me. Are you one of them?
53.) “Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.”
54.) “I’m not shy, I’m just really good at figuring out who’s worth talking to.”
55.) “You can sum up this sport in two words: “You never know.”
56.) “The world’s most funniest and easiest thing is to give an advice.”
57.) “It’s better not to argue with women.”
58.) “I feel like I should clean the house so I’m going to take a nap until that feeling passes.
59.) “God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend.
60.) “Shortest horror story ever: MondayFinal thoughts on short funny quotesFunny quotesare always make your day and If you like are these funny quotes then please do let us know in the comment section provided below.”
Need some really funny quotes and sayings to describe yourself, or may be some cool statuses to flaunt on your social networking profiles? Quotabulary gives you some really cute ‘about me’ sayings.
Sometimes we experience some hilariously funny things in our day-to-day lives that would make us smile even in the dullest of moods. Did you come across any such situation lately? Quote that, and watch it going viral in the online world.
Life is an eternal journey to know oneself. And to put it in words, especially for the ‘about’ section on our networking profiles like on Facebook and Instagram, it’s all the more difficult. But, sometimes, quotes framed by others suit perfectly on us, our state of mind, and our lifestyle!
So, let’s just say you’ve decided to go with something that is funny, something that has a cute factor, while it being witty at the same time. And of course, it perfectly describes you!
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All of me, Hopefully article about short funny quotes about me those can be useful for all of you readers. End word. Arigato for everything.