funny quotes zombie apocalypse
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Liam... You're the best. You're handsome, funny, patient with my fits, a fantastic cook. You taught me how to swim." Ryan bit his lip, eyes focused on the shadowed face in front of him. "Like, if there was a zombie apocalypse, you'd save me and feed me." He smiled. "I wouldn't need some loser with a guitar that wouldn't even work without electricity. I'd need a real man. The kind that runs into a burning building to save me. —K.A. Merikan
A cemetery?" I chuckle, but the pitch is a bit higher than I expected. "At night? With a full moon? Um ... did you see any, uh, zombies, you, while you were there?"Shiko blinks at me a few times. "No"I slump in relief. "Thank God. I mean, I don't want to be the first to die. The funny guy always dies first, for shock value, you know. Rourke would get killed next, because it's be a heroic sacrifice or something." I motion to Shiko. "You'd live, though, unless you had sex." ... Shiko has the look of an addled kitten, complete with head tilt. Rourke sighs and leans toward her, embarrassed. 'You'll have to excuse him. According to his mother he has an irrational fear of something called the zombie apocalypse.""It's not irrational! —Vaughn R. Demont
No," I agreed. "The zombie apocalypse is still a few years off, right?" "That's up to you to decide. Tell you what, we'll do it for fun someday when you're really bored. —Cait Reynolds
* If it replies "Brains," blow its fucking head off. * If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life. * Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian. —Shamus McCarty
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Quotes tagged as "zombie"
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“I like living in my head because in there, everyone is kind and innocent. Once you start integrating yourself into the world, you realize that people are nasty, mean creatures. They're worse than zombies. People try to crush your soul and destroy your happiness, but zombies just want to have a little nibble of your brain.”
―
J. Cornell Michel,
Jordan's Brains: A Zombie Evolution
“The pretty ones are usually unhappy. They expect everyone to be enamored of their beauty. How can a person be content when their happiness lies in someone else's hands, ready to be crushed at any moment? Ordinary-looking people are far superior, because they are forced to actually work hard to achieve their goals, instead of expecting people to fall all over themselves to help them.”
―
J. Cornell Michel,
Jordan's Brains: A Zombie Evolution
“I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead. ”
―
Jimmy Buffett
“When the black thing was at its worst, when the illicit cocktails and the ten-mile runs stopped working, I would feel numb as if dead to the world. I moved unconsciously, with heavy limbs, like a zombie from a horror film. I felt a pain so fierce and persistent deep inside me, I was tempted to take the chopping knife in the kitchen and cut the black thing out I would lie on my bed staring at the ceiling thinking about that knife and using all my limited powers of self-control to stop myself from going downstairs to get it.”
―
Alice Jamieson,
Today I'm Alice: Nine Personalities, One Tortured Mind
“They made a major mistake," he blurted out, "the dumb bastards, when they didn't start by killing you first.""Benjamin Thomas Parish, that was the sweetest and most bizarre compliment anyone's ever given me."
He shook his head. "Not worth it." And, for one-ten thousandth of a second, all of it fell away, the despair and grief and anger and pain and hunger, and the old Ben Parish rose from the dead. The eyes that impaled. The smile that slayed. In another moment, he would fade, slide back into the new Ben, the one called Zombie, and I understood something I hadn't before: He was dead, the object of my schoolgirl desires, just as the schoolgirl who desired him was dead.”
―
Rick Yancey,
The Infinite Sea
There may not have been that much to laugh about in 2020, but this list of funny zombie names and hilarious Halloween puns will resurrect your sense of humor for sure.
Halloween puns and Halloween riddles are always a favourite with kids. Halloween is the perfect time to share a laugh with friends, and we've conveniently got all the funniest zombie jokes we could find together into one article.
The end of October is just around the corner, and that means spooky skeletons, ghastly ghosts, wicked witches and, of course, zombies. We all know what zombies are, right? They're the shambling monsters that stumble through scary movies saying "Braaaaiinnsss" and trying to eat anyone in sight. But did you know zombies actually come from Caribbean mythology? They were believed to be dead bodies that had been brought back to life through magic and robotically did whatever they were told by the magician in charge. Scary stuff!
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