funny quotes about menopause
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Menopause is a Latin word that means men, you might wanna pause before you do anything that’s gonna tick this woman off. During your menopausal journey, it can be hard to find something to laugh at every once in a while. But, laughter is really the best medicine around, and having a little chuckle every day can really help to stimulate your mood and frame, and spirit.
We decided to take a lighthearted look at the funny side of menopause with a collection of funny menopause jokes for women who suffer from common symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, and forgetfulness.
Did you hear about the English teacher who went to prison for so long that she went through menopause?She was most upset that there would be no period at the end of her sentence.
A married couple has been together for 60 years.“After living for so long and observing so much, I have decided that men have it worse in this world,” the husband says to his wife one day out of the blue.The wife is clearly offended by his remark and asks him to elaborate. “Women start having periods during puberty,” the husband continues, “so you have to deal with bleeding, cramps, PMS, and all kinds of complications.”“So far, I agree with you,” the wife scoffs.“Then you start having babies,” the husband continues. You have to deal with morning sickness, unusual cravings, and eventually labor, a pain I can’t even imagine.”The wife nods smugly and encourages him to go on.“Finally,” the husband exclaimed, “you’ve reached menopause.” You have to deal with mood swings, hot flashes, and, perhaps most importantly, coming to terms with your own mortality.”The wife was visibly perplexed at this point. “I completely agree with everything you’ve said so far,” she said, “but how in the world do men have it worse?”“Because we have to deal with women!”
How is Adult life similar to a movie?Most women just end up either menostopping or menopausing it all for a while about halfway through then ask you how it all went several years later.
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Menopause Quotes
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“A woman must wait for her ovaries to die before she can get her rightful personality back. Post-menstrual is the same as pre-menstrual; I am once again what I was before the age of twelve: a female human being who knows that a month has thirty day, not twenty-five, and who can spend every one of them free of the shackles of that defect of body and mind known as femininity.”
―
Florence King
“[Hot flashes] are the prime cause of sleep disruption in women over age fifty, Suzanne Woodward of Wayne State University School of Medicine reports. Her studies show that hot flashes in sleep occur about once an hour. Most prompt an arousal of three minutes or longer. Independently of their hot flashes, women who have them still awaken briefly every eight minutes on average. The sleep process dramatically blunts memory for awakenings, Woodward said, and in the morning women seldom realize how poorly they slept. Instead, they often focus on the daytime consequences of poor sleep, which include fatigue, lethargy, mood swings, depression, and irritability. Many women and their doctors, Woodward said, dismiss such symptoms as "just menopause." This is a mistake, she suggested, because treatment can reduce or eliminate hot flashes, aid sleep, relieve other symptoms, and improve a woman's quality of life. Treatment also helps keep frequent awakenings from becoming a bad habit that continues after hot flashes subside.”
―
Michael Smolensky,
The Body Clock Guide to Better Health: How to Use your Body's Natural Clock to Fight Illness and Achieve Maximum Health
“The first indication of menopause is a broken thermostat. It's either that or your weight. In any case, if you don't do something, you could be dead by August.God, middle age is an unending insult.”
―
Dorothea Benton Frank,
Sullivan's Island
Menopause is literally a life-changing experience for women. While you lose something that makes you distinctly female, and that loss may be viewed as a negative or positive depending on how you feel about menstruating, half of all women gain a plethora of very unpleasant menopausal symptoms. It can feel overwhelming, lonely, and discouraging for both you and those around you if you don’t find some way to extract the humor out of the situation.
Around 80 percent of menopausal women experience hot flashes to some degree. For some, it’s just an uncomfortable sensation. For others, it may feel like their skin could melt sheets of ice. The worst part is that science doesn’t really have an explanation on why menopausal women get hot flashes.
According to Rebecca Thurston, director of the Women’s Biobehavioral Health Lab at the University of Pittsburgh, the previous estimates on how long hot flashes last is now seven to 10 years. That’s a lot of melted ice for some women.
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