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You’ve checked your phone multiple times in the past day, but it’s dead, silent, a big ole zero. Perhaps you’ve even sent a text or two over the past few days, but so far, you’ve heard nothing back — which is very unlike the person you’re close to. Your friend is ignoring you, and you have no idea why. This can be a confusing, hurtful, and frustrating situation. How are you supposed to know what to say when someone ignores you over text?
“Many conflicting emotions might arise if a friend gives you the silent treatment,” Rachel Hoffman, Ph.D., LCSW, head of therapy at Real, tells Bustle. “You might feel angry, sad, confused, and betrayed.” And while you might want to pour all these emotions out to them — or call them until they pick up — when someone ignores your texts, thoughtfully reaching out to the person ignoring you may help the situation.
The silent treatment can come out of nowhere, or it can be triggered by a specific incident. “It is important to understand what caused your friend to start withdrawing from the relationship,” psychologist Charmaine Jackman, Ph.D., tells Bustle. “For example, was there a conflict (perceived or real), or did they simply stop responding to you for an unexplained reason? Is this a pattern that they have engaged in before, or is it connected to a mental health condition?” Depression, for example, can often make people withdraw or neglect relationships. These factors will color how you respond to the sudden wave of silence coming out of your phone.
Of course, if your friend is leaving you on read, you might not have any idea why they’re ignoring you, and it could have nothing to do with you at all. Maybe they’re busy with a work project, or their new apartment has shoddy service. If you need them to see your text ASAP, you might try asking if they can respond by a certain time, or a friendly nudge such as, “Are you busy?” If that doesn’t work, you’ll want to try getting to the bottom of the silent treatment. When you’re staring at your phone wondering what to say to the blank screen, here are some tips for how to get someone to stop ignoring you.
If the reasoning behind their silence is unclear, it’s valid to ask if they’re all right, especially if not hearing from them for a while is incredibly unusual. “You can reach out to them in any capacity, be it email, text, or phone call, with the understanding that they might not respond,” Hoffman says. “Remember to have empathy and share your concern that you have not heard from them.” If things get really concerning as you just get radio silence back, try reaching out to someone else close to them, such as a family member.
I just want to make a point that it’s not just great teachers that sometimes shape your life. Sometimes it’s the absence of great teachers that shapes your life and being ignored can be just as good for a person as being lauded. – Julia Roberts
For example, if your best friend is ignoring you for no reason, then you might not be mad or sad about it. Instead, you might face him and teach him a good lesson so he won’t do it again, no matter the reason.
In the same way, you might get hurt if someone is trying to avoid you. Other effects are your perception of the surroundings might change. You may feel that everything is dull. Others may experience a loss of control over their emotions due to self-doubt.
There may be many reasons behind ignoring someone or being ignored by someone. And it is not valid to say that you didn’t ignore or get ignored by anyone in your life. Everyone has ignored someone at some point in their life. It is not a pleasant experience.
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