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The biggest struggle in life is to know, embrace, and accept ourselves, with all of our faults and imperfections. Many of us were raised by parents who were themselves victims—who were not taught to see their own worth, or who were not really seen by their own parents. Our grandparents' generation faced massive trauma and upheaval due to the Second World War and the Great Depression. The focus was on survival and minimizing the damage, rather than on love, appreciation, and intimacy.
Individuals and families today face the challenges of long commutes, longer working hours, and global economic uncertainty. These stresses can beat us down, or make us build walls around ourselves that are so dense that even our dearest friends, partners, spouses, and children can't get in. Yet, there is another way. When we have the courage to let the walls down—to know and embrace ourselves, despite our human failings—we also open the door to connecting in a more caring, empathic, intimate way with the ones we love and with all living beings.
Our brains are wired for survival, but also for empathy. We have mirror neurons that fire when we see other people's pain. Let us learn to love ourselves, so we can be more open and compassionate to others, and so we can take down the walls that limit who we can be and what we can contribute.
The quotes below are intended as inspiration for your inward journey. Become more mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Know your vulnerabilities as well as your strengths and achievements, and learn to love yourself for both. I have included categories that define some different facets of self-love, including awareness, acceptance, and growth. Following the quotes is an exercise to help you better know and accept yourself.
8. "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within." —Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Sure, we can easily accept all thegoodthings – our personal strengths and talents, the great things we’ve done and our natural abilities. But to fully accept ourselves, we also need to come to terms with our weaknesses, failures and flaws.
And that’s where it gets uncomfortable. But not impossible. Because in order to move forward and improve on said weaknesses and failures, we need to accept them for what they are – before we can improve and move forward.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.”
“Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins, and self-love grows.”
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